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Alright, so Waller ordered this one to be taken care of. Since Deadpool was AWOL - sadly not an uncommon occurance - Deathstroke was 'requested nice' to go with Harley Quinn to go blow up a HYDRA base. Yes, blow up. It was in the north part of New York City, and was not a major branch of the organization, mostly a gathering place for new recruits. In either case, let's just say with the explosives and big weapons, Deathstroke and Harley Quinn got the job done.
Of course, Deathstroke had to dodge a number of times to not accidentally get blown up by a very estatic Harley Queen. Yes, he yelled and growled at her.
In the helicopter back, someone kept whining for ice cream, and stating, "But I was such a good girl!" Finally, after Harley started just saying over and over again 'Ice cream ice cream' for 10 minutes, non-stop, Deathstroke caves in, "Fine alright! Just....just be quiet." That's the deal.
Therefore, a helicopter with the Thunderbolts name ends up landing in a small airplane field, and Harley and Deathstroke, decked out in their 'kill shit, they mean save the world' gear, and most of their weapons left behind like good little citizens - head inside North Salem.
A few questions later from some panicked people, it was Harley that found the Coffee Bean serves some great ice cream.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Deathstroke, trainer of the Thunderbolts and Harley Quinn, member of the Thunderbolts ended up in the Coffee Bean of North Salem, New York.
Kenzie was taking some time away from the Xavier School. Having her own girl problems she felt she needed time to clear her head. She needed to be away from older, attractive men that only seemed to get her in trouble, stealing her heart and causing her the ocasional electrical holocost in the east field of the campus. Ice Cream was a weakness, specificly peppermint fudge!
Harley Quinn slurps on her Rutti Tutti ice cream. She's been busy recounting to Deathstroke, in detail, about the operation they just did. Even though he was there. "And then BOOM! that building blew up. KAPOWWIEEEE! I think that's when I grenaded... grenadiered? What's the word?" She shakesh her head. "BLAM! It just blew up..." she holds out her arms, causing some of her ice cream to fly into a waiter. She sighs happily. "Reminds me of good times with my Puddin'." She leans forward. "So you got anyone special?" she asks as she starts licking her ice cream again.
Deathstroke is of course the one stuck paying. He orders good old fashioned vanilla ice cream, but he gets cholote syrup on top and cherries with bananas on the side. Alright, so it's basically a banana sundae. He is mostly just ignoring the woman that is yipping beside him like a little dog, no matter that she is shapped to cause car accidents. He takes his banana sundae and then almost drops the damn thing, "What?!"
Deathstroke then remembers to calm down, "Harley, your sense of logical conversation flow is shot to hell and back again. To respond, none of your damn business, but for those that can make use of a damn computer, my wife is dead; so no." Yep, he was married. He moves to take his own ice cream to a table and sits down with a slight scrape of armor against the plastic chairs.
Deathstroke then reaches up to untie his mask and pull it off his face. One eye, black eyepatch, white hair, the lines that reflect age, though he still appears in his prime with his body condition. He sets the mask atop thet able and picks up his plastic spoon, taking a bite of his ice cream. He does not return the question to Harley, he really does not want to hear about her puddin'.
Kensington wasnt in the mood for the yapping, she had matured quite a bit, also seemed to have adopted some of Laura's snark and growl. An itty bitty red beal emits from the girls fingers as she attempts to fire a railguned splinter of metal at the annoying woman's ice cream. If it hits, the reulting comedic value would be its own reward.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqefPldYj5c
Harley Quinn stands up as her ice cream gets splattered. "My manwich!" (editor's note, cross that out) "My ice cream!" She looks around, sees Kensington, and walks over. "Did you shoot my ice cream?"
Deathstroke just pauses and stares a moment. His mouth twitches a bit, and then he turns to watch the two women. "Just restrain yourself Harley, no murdering civilians. You are a hero now," he says as a reminder, a bit of cold humor to his tone. At least he really looks at Kenzie finally, having just barely made note of her earlier. While The Professor's eyes are a warm, intelligent blue, Deathstroke's one good eye is an ice cold blue, alert with intelligence rather than dead however.
Kenzie cant help but snerk behind her hand at the sight, looking to the rather annoyed Ex-Villaness, "Ahh" she said pausing "ahh ...ahh sneezed? achoo?" she offered before saying "I just figured yall lahhked explosions so much" she said noting the earlier conversation.
Harley Quinn frowns. "That wasn't funny!" Then takes her cone with the remains of the ice cream and, with a splurt, pushes it onto Kenzie's nose. "Ha! Now that's funny." Then grabs a chair. "Now for some slapstick!" she says as she is ready to swing it at Kenzie.
Deathstroke can see where this is going, so spoon left in ice cream he moves with inhuman speed - as he needs to considering how fast Harley can move herself when she wants to - to halt the chair, grabbing the chair to encourage her to put it down. "Put it down Harley. I'll buy you some more ice cream." He then looks over at Kenzie, "Now apologize kid. I don't want to have to file the bloody paperwork a brawl would cause." He just hopes this will smooth things over. "And you too Harley, for stooping down to her level." A pause, and then he curses beneath his breath, something about feeling like he is babysitting and not being paid enough.
Kenzie for one brief moment looks like an old timey 'rudolph' character with a pointed cone nose, her glowing eyes crossing slightly "MY NOSE!" she began before coughing and sneezing, her fingers at the bridge of her nose trying to prevent more of the dairy treat from invading her sinuses! As the chair comes up, she actually yelps and puts her hands up to defend her self only to nervously take a step back at Deathstroke's inhuman speed. "y.....y..Ya'll aint human" she mumbled nervously, as if she was one to talk.
Harley Quinn is about to swing the chair. "Lemmeatter! I'll moiderize her! I'll ... " she stops when she notices Deathstroke is trying to make sure she doesn't kill the impractical joker. "Okay.... a whole other cone though." She then pauses. "I did NOT stoop to her level." Then she quickly sweeps Kenzie's feet out from under her, as she's sneezing and coughing. "Okay. Maybe I stooped juuust a little." Then turns to saunter to the counter for more ice cream.
Deathstroke watches the girl land on her rump. He reaches into a pouch for money as he puts the chair back down. He hands the money to Harley, "Keep the change, now go get yourself a cone and ice cream." A gaunleted hand then reaches for some napkins to hold them down toward the girl after Harley is hopefully distracted. "Here. When you see someone dressed as a crazy clown, it is usually best not to break them. Lucky for you, she had to leave the bazooka in the helicopter."
Kenzie made a lurching sound as her feet are suddenly not underneath her, her little form slaming to the ground which only causes her to whimper in pain rubbing her butt. As Deathstroke leans down to offer her a hand however, she leans up and offers his hand her left, the gloved hand which she knew was safe for touchies, taking the napkins before moving to stand keeping her ungloved right hand away from the pair. "Yah, dat be okay, ahh know a girl who ain dat much fun eider" she said softly thinking of grumpy Laura.
Harley Quinn grumbles a bit as she takes the money, especially because she WASNT allowed to take her bazooka with her. Then says, "Aye aye, captain." She pauses. "I mean aye captain. Because,yknow, of the one eye thing." She stands there for a second, then skips off to get another cone with the money given to her, turning briefly to do a 'i'm watching you' motion with her hands at Kenzie.
"Oh, she's a bundle of laughs. When I first met her, I ended up with a heart gernade thrown at me. Must have been love at first sight," the unmasked Deathstroke says with dry humor. "So, why'd you prank the evil looking clown girl that was talking about how awesome it was to see stuff blow up?" Deathstroke steps back to clean against one of the tables, grabbing his own ice cream to start eating it again. He is keeping his 'eye' on Harley Quinn himself, and snorts at her dramatic hand motion. He will have to use it at on her sometime and see how she reacts. Violent imp that she is...
Kenzie looked at her own icecream and moved to sit at the 'bar' resuming her snack. "Because her voice be lahhka possum stuck inna wheat threshher" she said "But, atleast she smells a little better" Kenzie said trying to show no fear, though, she showed lots of fear. "Sahhds, it was funny huh?"
Harley Quinn is busy by the ice cream counter, ordering a cone. "Nono, I want a tutti frutti. Wait no I already had that I wanna oreo cookie ... wait no. Hey can I get one scoop of this and one scoop of that and one scoop of -" she says, talking the ear off the poor employee behind the counter. She then looks at a woman in line who's sighing dramatically behind her. "WASYERPROBLEM?"
When the woman shrinks back at the confrontation, Harley goes back to her former questioning. "Oooh ooh, how about this, we have one pistachio scoop, then one vanilla, then one tutti frutti, but the pistachio's on top" She signs. "Just like my Mistah J. Hey... pay attention! Sheesh."
"Only vaguely, pity I was more worried about the paperwork to file with Waller." Deathstroke eats another bite of his ice cream and his good eye narrows at Harley. He finally says, "Decide and get your damn ice cream Harley! We only about about thirty more minutes before the pilot has to take off. And I'm not hoofing it back to HQ. It's a bit over a drive, or we would be stuck with subway." Both are horriable for Slade when he would be trapped in the company of Harley Quinn.
Kenzie continues to eat at her icecream, tilting her head to the unmasked man. "Is...is she okay?" she asked finally, "Ahh mean..she seems....kahhna messed up..." she commented "Lahhk...loopy? Mad as a hatter?"
Harley Quinn yells back at Deathstroke. "OKAAAAAY!" She then looks back at the counter guy. "You ever have a boss who you just want to beat with a sledgehammer in the back of the head except if you did you'd have a few dozen people shooting at you?" She then looks at his manager. "What?" she asks accusingly. She shakes her head. "Good times. Okay... so.... tutti fruity on the bottom, french vanilla in the middle, and pistacchio on top." She hands over the money. "Extra sprinkles."
"You have heard of Harley Quinn, right kid? That's her, work release from Arkham Aslyum to be trained as a 'real hero'," surrrre, no sarcasm there! He rolls his one good eye, hearing each of Harley's words clearly. "I think I'll hurt her next training class and take perverse enjoyment out of it," he grumbles. "Sledgehammer," and he snorts at that. "In either case, look her up online sometime if you haven't heard of her, Gotham City would be the key words, or even Joker. Welcome to your first introduction to the new developing Thunderbolts team." Reformed supervillains. Oh, great.
Kenzie hadn't heard of Harley, but she HAD heard of Gotham, and THAT was significant enough "Oh wow you fought with the BAT?" she asked "Is it true hes a hunk? Well ahh mean lahhk, chisled.." she flushered "ahh heard he wears a skin tahhght suit that shows off his muscles.." she swooned more
Harley Quinn comes back to Deathstroke and Kenzie, licking her new ice cream. Then makes a face about what she's saying about Batman. "Yeaaah Bats is such a stiff you could stick a coal up his batcave and get a diamond." she smirks as she licks her ice cream.
"Huh? Actually, yes, but I'm not a Gothamite. We have fought and worked together at different times. I'm a mercenary. I'm just the Thunderbolts trainer, not a member," he clarifies. Being called a supervillain is apparently an insult to him. His voice is deep, and a bit rough when he is in Deathstroke garb...it smooths out more when he is dressed casually. And Deathstroke falls silent at Harley's words, and works at keeping a straight face. Alright, it fails a bit as he hees slightly. "That is actually funny," he admits. "He is really a hard ass and does not like to give on anything." And that's saying a lot coming from a fellow hard ass.
The girl's ice cream was nearly gone, but the conversation seemed to just be starting. "Well..Ahh...is he hot?" Kenzie asked, more to Harley now "Ahh mean, not that ahh check out boys..." she stumbled "ahh mean, it aint lahhk ahh check out girls neither" blushing more she just put her face in her hands.
Harley Quinn watches Deathstroke barely react to her joke. "He's a good kisser though, I'll admit."
Wait, what?
She looks back at Kenzie. "You're runnin out of choices if you're not into boys or girls. What's left? Actually don't tell me that." She slurps her ice cream. "I'll have you know I'm Batman's greatest female adversary."
A pause.
"Er... was."
Another pause.
"Cause I'm totally reformed now."
She nods. "I was just a victim of circumstance, caught in a jail of love."
Deathstroke raises an eyebrow, "Kiddo, I have had kids alive and dead that were older than you. I do know what sex is. And I'll leave this one to Harley, though he wears a mask any....," he doesn't finish, and blinks at Harley Quinn. "Even as an unwilling kisser?" He then whispers toward Harley, "Your hyneas." He then says, "Uh-huh...we are still working on that Harley."
Kenzie just sat there dumbfounded and blushing. The girl flustered and not knowing what to do, she just resumed eating ice cream like some kind of good, staring at Harley.
Harley Quinn smiles. "Takes two to lip lock. Plus he smiled afterwords. Scouts honor! He wasnt handcuffed or anything." Then she crosses her arms when he whispers to her and hmphs. "I don't know what yer talkin' about." all innocently, making an innocent little smile.
Then looks back at Kenzie as she's standing there all dumbfounded. "Yknow toots, you probably could get a guy or girl to scratch that itch of yours if you lost that accent." she says in her own heavily jersey shore accent. "Guys ain't into that. Nope."
Harley Quinn thinks then adds, "Well unless you have big...." She stops talking and looks at Kenzie, then says, "Lose the accent."
Deathstroke just sighs heavily. "Harley, considering the type of crazy you attract, I'm not so sure you are the best one to give advice in this circumstance. Also, do not look at me. My job as a mercenary does not place me in the company of pleasent individuals generally." Yes, Harley is included in that, the poor girl.
Kenzie looked REALLY hurt, looking down at her small chest, in her hoodie at a glance she would easily pass for a boy. "Ahh.." she whimpered "ahh aint that flat" she tried to insist, looking to Deathstroke "Am ahh?"
Deathstroke is making a point /NOT/ to look at Kenzie's chest after Harley pointed it out. When the girl moves to cover them, he does go to glance down, then back over at Harley to scowl at her for making him look. Alright, so he is male. He just isn't easily manipulated by sex...having used it against women before actually.
Harley Quinn looks at Deathstroke, "Hey now... Mistah J is a special coicumstance. Ain't no one else like him. I had some totally non-homicidal, non-psychopathic significant others too yknow. Some of whom ain't never shot me or thrown me out of windows or nothin." She then looks at Kenzie. "Honey, you're so flat that you're a pirate's dream! A sunken chest."
Harley then looks back at Deathstroke. "Arr matey?"
The young girl looked mortified at the way Harley insulted her, an actual tear rolling down her cheek "Y..." she begins, but shes out of witty retorts, no more snappy comebacks. She just sat there, defeated.
"Kid, if you let people run over you like that, you aren't going to get anywhere in life." Deathstroke finishes his ice cream. "Buck up." He then adds, "Joker is enough crazy that he makes up for those you missed Harley. Well, always knew you were an over-achiever." That was not a compliment. "You about done your ice cream kid?" Yes, he is calling Harley Quinn 'kid' too. "And making the young lady cry?" He moves to pick up his mask from the table. "Ah, forgot to warn you kid. Harley is a shrink professionally. Just a certified crazy one, and no, the release letter from Arkham Aslyum does not have an reflection on reality Harley."
Harley was just about to take out the certificate saying she's sane, too, when Deathstroke said that.
Kenzie didnt speak anymore, tugging her hood up, she just moves to stand. Stuffing a fist full of coins into the tip jar with a shower of sparks, the girl begins to head for the door, the ocasional sniffle audiable.
Harley Quinn nods. "Yeah... I won't say nothin' about the freaky eyes or dull clothes." She thinks. "Oooh actually, I have one more! SHe's so flat, she makes Iowa look like the Rockies."
She starts to walk back to the helicopter with her ice cream. "She's so flat, the walls are getting jealous!"
She heads out of earshot, still saying 'she's so flat' jokes, "She's so flat, when she gets a mosquito bite she goes up a cup size!"
She heads into the helicopter, "She's so flat..."