|DC/Marvel: Age of Infinite Heroes|
Wade Wilson is the Merc with the Mouth (who did it with your Mom)! He's loony, he's toony, and he's actually pretty goony!
Deadpool is insane, and a highly proficient hand to hand and gun to hand and gun to gun fighter who thinks life is a comic book being played out in an electronic forum somehow. Extremely short attention spanned, he claims he can read things on your Wiki.
In West Philadelphia, born and raised, in a playground was where I spent most of my days.. Oh, wait, I have to write my actual background? What do you mean I can't use this one? Oh, wait, that's the Fresh Prince's. Still, #$#! you Rumble! :(
Ahem. Deadpool is from the land of beavers, moose, and rabid hockey fans with no sense of direction. Yes, it's Canada folks! Anyways, Wade Winston Wilson had.. Huh, I guess I am speaking a bit much in third person. Well, given as I look over my Comicvine history, it says my early background isn't very well known, so I'll make some stuff up! Anyways, Wade's dad was in the Canadian army (People who say 'Ehh' a lot). Wade was one of those kids who everyone thought would grow up to become just like one of those kids in a Matt Judge cartoon. He got into accidents, played stupid pranks, and had a high pitched, nasallay laugh over like Fran Dreschner. He didn't do well in school, and while an athletic kid was constantly beaten up by the chess team. Okay! I was a wuss. So I slashed their tires and set their pets on fire and TP'd their houses on Halloween. Anyways, my mom died from cancer when I was in my teens, and I became more of a problem child!
After my mom died, I went to Quebec sometime after they were rioting as something to do with the Habs. While there, I made fun of a lot of the Quebecois for being 'cheese eating surrender monkeys' and set things on fire. After I was arrested, I was given the option of joining the United States army or 'straighten up or ship out'. This is what you get from having American writers do a Canadian character kids and engage in stereotypes of people of the great north! Anyways, in the United States Army, my predilection for making fun of the weak and abused got me noticed, and I became a part of special forces. Where they kicked me out as I was a loser!
So I went back home, and then Nieceza retconned my origin. This is what you get when you have a lot of writers changing things at different times! Just pick and choose. Anyways, according to ~Nieceza~ I had a big fight with my dad in a bar and we left off really upset with one another. My dad wanted to have me make something of myself, but also said regardless he was proud of me. I said I hated him. He was run over by a car before I said I was sorry driven by one of my drunken friends. Or maybe it was an origin story in Star Trek. I could be wrong.
So, I went back stateside and became a mercenary. Since apparently that's what all ex special forces guys do. Instead of taking cushy jobs for Haliburton or getting consulting gigs. I also spent some time as a sumo wrestler purely to setup a fat joke later in continuity. Anyways, I met this hot mutant blue girl shapeshifting hooker named Vanessa. She was really sweet. And jailbait. But don't tell Wild Thing!
Anyways, one of my missions was kidnapping a British World War 2 intelligence operative whom I call Blind Al who I ended up locking in a box in the basement. Even though she had a box of scraps she did not build an Iron Man suit. In disappointment, I left her there ever since.
Anyways, this is the point Wade's life starts to suck. I'm the Yellow Box, and I'll be taking over narrating duties. Anyways, Wade ended up contracting a mysterious, incurable form of cancer that was due to kill him within months. Not wanting anyone to be dependent upon him or mourn him, Wade cut his ties with everyone who cared about him, including his girlfriend. His terminal illness had him developing a Death Wish (hey, awesome name for a rock band - it actually is) which would later ironically prolong the rest of his life. He was given a chance of staying alive and hope by a department of the Canadian Military called Department K, which saved his life by giving him a healing factor derived from Wolverine's. Yeah, the big hairy gal. Oh, wait, guy. Sorry, typo.
So, going on now with things. Wade was in the Weapon X Program. Which really sucks as a name for a super secret Canadian special forces team. Why did Canada have so many anyways? It's not like they had a great military budget in the first place. To take care of maraudering supervillain moose? Anyways, while on one mission Wade killed someone on his team who had a suckier name than he did, and was kicked off the team. He was sent to somewhere called 'the Hospice' for treatment. Sanity issues. What Weapon X didn't know was that the Hospice was a grim facility used for human experimentation projects by the sinister (not Mister Sinister) Doctor Killebrew and his assistant Beaker.. No, wait, Ajax. Anyways, I mean, Doctor KILLEBREW? You'd have thought that wound ring alarm bells in HR.
While there, Wade was dumped in a pit with the other experimental subjects. There, they were given no food, and their only interaction with the outside world was when the guards would come to grab one of them for the sinister beer doctor's experiments. While starving, cannibalism was rampant. Well, that and poor hygiene. The only thing the patients could do to pass the time was make bets on who would be the next one to leave the room and die. Hence, the Deadpool. Awesome foreshadowing right?
Anyways, the beer doctor performed mad science experiments upon me and the other patients. Or did I do that in my last background section? But, what happened is as he tortured me, messing with my healing factor to see how much pain I could take, I was visited by a goddess. A pale diva, a lady of pale skin, dark hair, and with an ankh. She was so gorgeous.. She whispered that she would take me in the end, and I would have peace. I would be with her forever, and her family. She was Death. And she was the beginning and the end. Wade.. I.. We.. We wanted to just be with her for all time. And we would be.
But that $##@! Killebrew Sorry, language censor wouldn't let us die. He kept on leaving me alive. No matter what. Then the people in the room said it was cheating to kill myself to win the pool! Stupid technicality. But, I had ideas. I taunted Ajax by heckling him again and again. To get me to stop, he critically injured my miniature buddy Worm to the point of Death. I killed Worm, to let him join in Death's embrace and end his pain. The penalty for killing another prisoner was execution, so sweet deal right?? RIGHT?
Anyways, I had all sorts of awesome adventures as a mercenary dude. Among them was meeting my girlfriend at the time (well, my ex, though she was blue now and I didn't know she was my ex-girlfriend) Copycat who turned into different chicks to bang me as she was a stalker, and teaming up with Bullseye and Taskmaster to form BROFORCE. Okay, we may have called it something different, but I worked with those guys a lot. So Did your Mom. Don't see her complaining bout it! Quoted for Truth
I had a bond with those two guys 'cuz they were awesome. I spent years as a nutty powered mercenary gaining a reputation for being the best in the business At annoying Wolverine and having all sorts of sweet stuff happen. Everyone knows who I am In this case a seriously ill professional who thinks he's a reporter on the Colbert Report who can't be subtle to save his life and I'm the best there is at what I do. And I'm prettier than Wolverine! I had all sorts of nutty adventures and random people emitting me or making silly jokes about me in scenes of how insane I was. I also met this cool dude named T-Ray who took me in off the streets, but I got bored so I killed him in front of his wife, who had him raised from the dead Voodoo style later on. Or something.
Anyways, there I was, about to be reunited with my patron, Death. We would be together forever.. But there was this guy Thanos who thought that exterminating reality was a way to pick up chicks, and he wanted to bone her HAH, get it so he cursed me with immortality. Or maybe it was just the chalupas. But there I was, clawing my way out of the ground just like Spider-Man at the end of Kraven's Last Hunt! I went back and got my revenge. And stuff. T-Ray and I fought one another for the rights to the name of Wade Wilson, then we both agreed that we had a right to it. I think I may have killed him, but things were rather fuzzy. So, I guess it really depends what writer you prefer.
But, anways, my thirst for VENGEANCE was stronger. As my heart was torn out and I was left in a pile of corpses for dead, my healing factor kicked in. My body transformed, spasming and rewriting my genetic data with the cancer CANCERCANCERCANCER as I was healed. So I charged out, killing Ajax and Killebrew, the guards.. And let the surviving dozens of metahuman experimental subjects who had been driven insane by experimentation, cannibalism, and isolation into the Canadian wilderness. Which may have /not/ been the best idea. Joined by my awesome yellow boxes, I took the name Deadpool and went on a course of ADVENTURE!
So, after dealing with T-Ray in a vague enough way to use it for later plot and/or roleplay hooks, I was at a crossroads No, that was trying to run across Times Square during rush hour. I went to work again on and off with Taskmaster and Bullseye, doing things like chasing after Advanced Idea Mechanics and Hydra, working for anyone who would pay me.
You mean anyone would want to? Shut up voice, you're not being funny, just snarking now. Anyways, I worked with these real hot chicks who worked with Taskmaster and who ran their own mercenary organization, called Agency X on and off. I think T-Ray is Dead, Thanos still wants me to stay not-dead for ever and ever, and I want to annoy Wolverine.
Weasel's a big pussy with me, and every time I get into doing 'oh wah wah you're being too stupid even for me' he goes on, he leaves me. Then again, people will think we're dating if I put it that way. But, we're currently not talking to one another unless I bother to threaten him, when he comes around quickly. Oh, since I have to include recent, big events in my background where I was used as a non player character Taskmaster used me to annoy the X-Men along with the plans where he was hired over Acts of Vengeance, and I sent them nasty emails. And I made Cyclops cry by insisting he trade me his girlfriend's underthings while in front of her for information. And they're really comfortable too. Thanks!
Update: Since someone new is playing me, normally I'm supposed to have my bg updated. But with a few well-placed explosives set around Tifa's loved ones, I convinced her to let me keep this particular BG on the wiki. I mean... because she loves me. Yeah. That's why. Nothing having to do with explosives and death threats.
From the psychiatric files of Doctor Bong
Deadpool's base form of insanity seems to stem outwardly in appearance in his treatment of the outside world as being artificial in nature. I would deem it a coping mechanism from the horrors of how exactly he was created, and an outward method of denial. By inwardly deeming the outside world being of an artificial nature, Deadpool can inwardly deny the horrors that he has suffered as well as escape consequence of his actions. One might say he ironically has a very strong sense of conscience that otherwise would be overwhelmed by his actions, and this outward denial of everything and his treatment of residing within a fictional realm allows him to bypass the issues of his conscience and the horrors that he continuously has inflicted upon others and himself.
Psychiatric Notes Continued:
Deadpool's mind is in a constant state of flux and regeneration. His body is continuously disintegrating thanks to his cancer, and continuously regenerating at the same moment. Thus, he is in a state of constant internal torture. This ultimately brings itself to a death wish. Deadpool has strong suicidal tendencies in which he wants little more than to kill himself. And yet he cannot die, which leads to more escalating behavior to try and bring about his own demise.
Perhaps the most surprising discovery in my subjection of Deadpool was how much he is driven by both his self-hatred and his conscience. Deadpool cares. He cares too much. About particularly children and women or those who are close to him emotionally. He also hates himself and believes himself a monstrocity and does not wish for anyone to become close to him as they would suffer emotional scarring. Much of his behavior in turn becomes further exaggerated should he believe someone be close to him, as he would want to try and strongly alienate them. I think that with proper emotional support and grounding his nature could be greatly stabilized. As well as should someone learn this and in turn play at growing emotionally close to him and then betray him he would have his psyche shattered totally. Hmm, how much is Advanced Idea Mechanics paying?
Notes, Final Entry
Deadpool, for all his outward humor, is defined by anger. Anger at himself, anger at what he has done, and anger at how he has been treated. This is only subtly apparent, but subject is at his most dangerous when he is outwardly angry. When his humor shines away, he is at his most outward brutal. His humor is only a coping mechanism of denial, the outward externality of his own particular unique kind of schizophrenia. But it is anger that drives Deadpool more than anything else. And should one earn his true anger, then I believe there is little that would stop him from continuously going after whatever it is and ending it in his best possible way.
- 2011-11-12 - Acts of Vengeance: The Fanboy, Deadpool - Deadpool stops by the X-Institute for a visit, and Laura proves her worth.
- 2012-02-06 - Acts of Vengeance: Deadpool Trouble - Deadpool attacks Avengers Mansion with the help of HYDRA drones to steal information from their database.
- 2012-08-05 - Deadpool Hits The Wall - Deadpool wants to join the Thunderbolts. Amanda Waller had better have her medication ready.
- 2012-08-25 - Tacos and Lasers - A SHIELD Strike goes awry when the assault team fights the White Dragon underneath a skate park.
- 2013-01-19 - The Eggman Cometh: Finale - Chaos in Central Park - Our heroes face off with Egghead and his creations to save the city. (TV: 2013-01-19 - The Eggman Cometh: Live News Broadcast - Chaos in Central Park)
- (TV: 2013-01-20 - Indecision 20**: The Mexican Standoff to 1600 (7PM EST))
- 2013-03-31 - Getting the Band Back Together - Deadpool and Harley arrive to stop a break-in at a museum... but Harley's best friend Poison Ivy is one of the culprits!
- 2013-04-14 - Are You Crazy?! It's Mr. Sinister! - After a lead at a location of Mr. Sinister's lab, Traveler gathers some unknowing allies, and accidentally gets Cable dragged into the mess as well!
- 2013-04-26 - She is NOT KFC - Traveler pulls together Deadpool and Redtail to hear a plea for help.
- 2014-02-16 - Dancing with Death in the Pale Moonlight - Deadpool's in a funk, and a special friend stops by to talk and cheer him up.
- 2014-03-23 - The Awakening: ...The Mirror Reflects... - Nightwing shows up to challenge Dick to become Red Hood. It goes as well as expected when Batwing shows up.
- 2014-03-25 - The Awakening: ...The Image of Insanity... - As partners, Deadpool and Red Hood take down the Joker after a bunch of snarks and gags.
- 2014-04-02 - X-Force Arrives! - Cable leads X-Force in an assault against Qurac to save (mutant) slaves and free a country from evil! (TV: 2014-04-02 - Live: X-Force Arrives!)
- 2014-04-24 - Ninja Taco - Deadpool and Hawkeye are bad enough dudes to rescue the taco stand guys from ninjas. More meta than you can shake a wiki stick at!
- 2014-05-05 - CRaZy tALK - Deadpool is paid a visit by Delirium to let her know about her recent family trouble with Death being missing.
- 2014-06-07 - Deadpool and Dragons - Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Someone tries to kill Deadpool with meteors.