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The Channel Six newscopter flies giving a street level view of chaos in the city, a generic voiceover going, "There is open chaos in the streets as martial law is declared after HYDRA assaulted the United Nations and held the General Assembly Hostage, where Baron Wolfgang Von Strucker announced his plan murder the world leaders if they did not give in to his demands. The siege was only ended by skirmishing between the U.N. Military and S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents against the dug in HYDRA Troopers. Apparently, the military and S.H.I.E.L.D. was supported by remaining heroes consisting of Leap Frog, the Fabulous Frog Man, the Amazing Spider-Kid, Daddy Long-Legs, and.. Howard the Duck, with assistance from the Bronx Streetside Heroes.. The Power Pack." The announcer lets out a groan over at one final bit. "And what we are also informed of was.. an enormous legion of squirrels that swarmed all over MODOK's command chair, short circuiting every bit of it in a S.H.I.E.L.D. operation in the Kongo while he was broadcasting his own version of taking over the world through mindless reality Television shows which would re-educate the worlds population on proper behavior." A loud whimper of pure suffering can be heard.
The camera switches to the Channel Six newsroom, where Anchorman Fenwick's hair appears to have taken on sentience, looking worse than Will Ferrel's character in 'Anchorman'.
"THIS is what we've come to!" Fenwick booms, "The world's falling, chaos in the streets, martial law declared throughout the United States, being invaded by supervillains and I'm relegated to reporting on HOWARD THE DUCK! THIS IS YOUR FAULT STARK!"
Fenwick's diatribe continues, "You should be here! With your so-called bodyguard. You could be designing weapons to save us all! Your bodyguard should be protecting civilians! Instead I wager you're hiding in a bunker in the Earth like a yellow bellied coward along with your yellow bodyguard, making deals with our new insect alien overlords! Well I for one will stay here bravely to the end! And whatever hole you've crawled into STARK, whatever bunker you hide, SHAME WILL FIND YOU!"
Fenwick hangs his head, his hair spritzing around like it was on fire, a set of live wires.
"In an update on the situation, I am told Cleveland, Chicago, and Detroit have been conquered by Advanced Idea Mechanics, put under the sway of a.. Mental Organism Designed Only For Talking leading a legion of mind controlled citizens hypnotized by talk shows and reality programming. Updates from S.H.I.E.L.D. will be on standby as further circumstances warrant."
The camera switches over to Miss O'Neil, "On the ground here in Cleveland, the general reaction is resignation and shock in a way. One passerby quipped that 'sure, the aliens didn't land here as they had one look at the place and decided it had already been blown up' as for the situation in Detroit. Another stated that they thought the only reason AIM invaded Chicago was they could buy up underground bases on the cheap side, as not everyone can afford to setup an underground facility with property values as they are in New York...
The camera switched back to Fenwick, "The Upper Midwest is under the control of a giant headed talk show host. THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE REDUCED ME TO STARK!! REVENGE WILL BE MINE!" As Fenwick fell in a gibbering wreck, the camerawoman could be heard whooping with laughter.
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